Monday, March 17, 2008

Front Range Epic, Goonies Style

I've been living in the Front Range for nearly a decade since my move from Wisconsin. In all honesty, this weekend presented the most complete front range epic I've experienced. I guess there are certain details we could argue about for hours over many Dales Pale Ale, but as a general statement this one surprised us & had all the aspects necessary of a 5+ hour epic. I know what you're thinking...right, an "EPIC" from 5200 ft. in the Front Range...well, ask yourself what ARE the makings of an epic. The most relatable definition via the dictionary says: adj - very imposing or impressive; surpassing the ordinary (especially in size or scale); "an epic voyage"; "of heroic proportions"; "heroic sculpture". It was so fun I'm not going to give you the direct route, but if your up for it ask Mikey for the old treasure map leading to the secret treasure of One-Eyed Willie. Enter the Devil's Backbone, avoid booby-traps & you may find yourself in the midst of nearly unlimited miles of front range jewels.After a 30 minute drive from Lyons we hit dirt at The Bone.Randy attempts to pass the cheese grader trap
Look out for that step-up booby trap, it's a doozy.after navigating some Blue Sky we made it to part 3, an initial view from the steeps at Horsetooth.
after playing some notes on the organ the group is allowed to pass safely through the keyhole under the rock.
at this point I guess we just keep goinganother root & rock filled trap escapedLooking out over Horsetooth reservoir, looks like the trail sign might be pointing us to a TenFidy?
after a descent that truly was a hidden treasure we headed back to Blue Sky attempting to outrun the storm
back safely, complete with a desperate ride back in the snow.

With the group avoiding the mounting snow & safely back at the car Chad's marble bag is revealed to be full of a large mass of precious stones. Melis had replaced his marbles with the these 8% gems of Old Chub. With the value of these 12 oz gems to pay off Mr. Perkins, Mr. Walsh tears up the contract & the Goon Docks is saved from its fate of being redeveloped as a golf course. The police arrest the Fratellis, except for Sloth. Chunk tells Sloth that he can live with him and his family.

The Goonies marvel the story of their epic singeltrack hunt over Old Chub & burritos. As the ship sails away Chris, Jason, Randy & Melis bid farewell and thank-you to their front range epic.

PS: if think this is cheesy, it is. As was the movie, but you KNOW it was also BAD ASS!


G-Lenn said...

I had no idea that Josh Brolin was the older brother:

Goonies 2 bit**es!

Unknown said...

Nice pics and great description, Chad. Too bad the camera battery ran out and we missed pics of the serious riding in the snow! Epic.

redstone said...

Good write up man. Sounds like a good adventure of a ride, too.

Chus said...

This is what I think: The Goonies